Broken Kei (The Broken Ones Book 4) Read online

  I don't have any more information than that. I wish I did. I truly am sorry. I know you were friends.

  He might have said more, but suddenly all she could hear was a rushing sound in her ears as Roan's words echoed in her head. A friend? Is that still all I am?

  Nausea flipped her stomach around and she pushed her forearm across her waist and pressed her fingers to lips.

  Don't scream.

  Don't cry.

  Emotions surged through her and she didn't have the strength to stop them. The fury within her rose up, wrapping her in anger. Why? Why?

  She wanted to throw her plate across the table. She wanted to throw everything, toss the rotting table itself end over end.

  Pain pulled her away for a moment and she looked to her side, finding Kei gripping her upper arm tightly.

  "Aro, what happened?"

  She couldn't answer him. Couldn't breathe enough to say the words. Couldn't say the words at all.

  His gaze grew distant and she pulled away, pushing back into Baelan and ignoring his quiet question as well. Somehow managing to get out from between them and over the bench, she walked quickly toward the nearby trees.

  "Wait!"

  She ignored Kei's call, walking faster.

  Rhee-En called sharply for the Fey, and she moved even faster, stumbling into the trees and away from everyone else.

  Alone. She just needed to be alone.

  Light and dark flickered across her vision. Sunlight and shadows.

  Life and death.

  For a moment familiar darkness stole her sight, complete silence filled her head. She stumbled, blinking as the memory, the reminder, faded away.

  Why did he have to die? He shouldn't have, he'd been so strong. Untouchable. How could it have happened? Why?

  "The strong always have many enemies," Baelan said from behind her.

  She stopped, closing her eyes, clenching her fists.

  "You're not guarding your thoughts well right now."

  No, with the mess her head was in, she probably wasn't. Anger at his invasion still rippled through her until she pushed it aside. "You think someone killed him," she said quietly. "That it wasn't some accident."

  "Probably," the Elf said, a little bit closer.

  "I wish I knew…" Grief clogged her throat. There were so many ways to die. Like with her brothers, the not knowing twisted her stomach. "I hope he didn't suffer."

  "He might have. Unless he was caught unaware. A quick strike–"

  "Stop it!" She spun to find him right behind her. He didn't look upset at all Roan was dead.

  "I'm not."

  The fury roared. She swung, her fist cracking into the Elf's jaw. "Did you do this?"

  "Of course not, silly girl. I've been with you."

  But he could have been behind it. Was it coincidence Roan died shortly after he warned her about the Elf? Twisting ribbons of red and black tightened within her as she hit him again.

  Baelan barked out a sharp laugh. "Who would I send? The Were were his allies. Humans are too weak, and to the Elves I do not even exist."

  She faltered a moment, his words making sense even through her anger and pain. Her lips trembled, and she clenched her fists, not ready to stop. Wanting to punish something. Hit something. Try to pound the feelings overwhelming her away.

  "But, if I could have, yes, I would have killed him."

  Her fists flew, again and again until he stumbled back a step, wiping blood from his mouth and nose on the back of his hand.

  "You can do better than that."

  His words fueled the anger inside of her until she felt a brief throb of pain across her knuckles. He hadn't defended himself at all. What had she done? All the wild emotions within her just…died. Faded away, leaving only sorrow and regret and an aching empty hole inside of her.

  "Rot. I'm so sorry."

  He shook his head and stepped closer. "You're allowed to hit me." He spread his arms out, inviting her to do so again.

  And he broke her. Just like that.

  Tears slipped down her cheeks as she shook her head vehemently. She moved toward him and he didn't even flinch. Her fists hit his chest, but there was no force to them. Then she was pressed up against him, her forehead on his chest as her hands fisted in his shirt.

  Wrapping his arms around her, he stroked her hair. Placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. "Shhh."

  Her tears immediately disappeared, drying on her cheeks. She stayed in his arms, breathing against him as her heart settled into its normal rhythm once more. He continued to hold her, his hand still stroking gently down her hair. Another kiss ghosted atop her head, and he placed his cheek there.

  "Baelan."

  Kei's sharp voice startled her, but she didn't move. The Elf raised his head, his hand stilled, but he didn't speak.

  Hands gripped her shoulders, pulling her away, turning her around. She blinked up at Kei, her eyes feeling hot and dry. He frowned as he cupped her cheek, his thumb moving over dried tears. "Let's go back. Rhee-En has a cabin for us. Sleep will do you good."

  She didn't agree but didn't argue. Kei didn't know, he didn't understand, how close she and the Elf had been.

  Taking her hand, he pulled her through the trees. Garen bumped into her other side. His head rubbed against her arm until she rested a hand on his back as she walked. Baelan trailed silently behind them.

  Aro-En.

  She stopped abruptly, a choked sound escaping her at the loud, echoing sound of the king's voice.

  Yes? Her voice sounded so weak she wanted to smack herself.

  I feel your distress. What is wrong?

  "What's wrong?"

  She glanced over at Kei, "The king."

  He grimaced and squeezed her hand tighter.

  I…I just had some bad news from home. Someone I…cared about very much died.

  I am sorry to hear that. Neither spoke for a long moment until he continued, Would you like to talk about it?

  Her eyes widened slightly at the thought. No! Thank you, she added quickly. Sweat beaded her brow as a headache started to form.

  I am here if you need me. That is how the Were work. We support each other.

  Rot, was she going to get a lecture? I know, she said quickly. I just can't…right now.

  That seemed to mollify him, as after another silence he changed the subject. On another matter, since we are already speaking, the one you call Garen, his family is aware he lives.

  What did that mean? She looked down at Garen in confusion.

  Does he wish to send word to them?

  Ah…just a moment. I'll ask.

  Garen flicked his ears forward as she continued to stare at him.

  "The one you call Garen. What does that mean?"

  The Were looked away with a snort. I changed my name when I left. I'm not that Were any more. I haven't been for a very long time.

  Kei squeezed her hand and she nodded. "The king said your family knows you're alive and he asked if you wanted to send word to them?"

  No.

  She ran her fingers through the fur on his back, noting the tense muscles. "Then that's what I'll tell him." Garen turned back to look at her. "It's your choice."

  His body relaxed under her hand. Thank you.

  Taking a breath, she spoke to the king again. He doesn't wish to.

  Why?

  I don't know. He didn't say.

  Then ask–

  No.

  She could sense the king's irritation zapping through their connection. She didn't want to deal with this now. She couldn't. Thank you for your concern. I need to go now.

  Very well. I am here, if you need me, Aro-En.

  She didn't reply, though she probably should have. Pain poked at her eyeballs and she gritted her teeth. "He's gone. I told him no. Can we go?"

  Kei nodded, and pulled her along once more. It only took a few steps for her thoughts to return to Roan. To death. He was dead. Gone. She'd been dead. Partly dead? Was there more than the darkne
ss and the silence? He'd always carried such an interest in it. Now he knew. Knew if that was all or if there was more. Maybe he was with his lost mate now.

  Lost again in her thoughts, she barely registered entering the cabin, the four small beds lined up, or the boys' mutterings as they directed her to stand to the side as they shoved three of them together.

  Baelan took her hand and pulled her to stand at the foot of the center bed. "Go to sleep."

  Her brain didn't seem to be connected to her body, but she managed to sit on the bed and remove her boots and weapons.

  The next thing she knew she was on her side, staring at nothing. Soft sounds met her ears, the boys and Garen moving around. If they spoke to each other, they didn't use words she could hear.

  Her chest hurt.

  Closing her eyes, she went inside, into the darkness of her mind. Leaning against the walls of her fortress, she waved her hand and a memory appeared. Her and Roan.

  She had months of memories. Knowing she would never lose them, that she would never forget, eased some of the pain in her heart. So, she watched, memory after memory.

  Baelan's voice suddenly echoed around her. "I don't know how much more of this she can take." A hand slid down her hair, brushed hair from her face.

  Kei growled.

  "Don't start that with me," the Elf snapped.

  Kei didn't respond with words, but he shifted closer, wrapping his arms around her and tucking her head under his chin, holding her tight.

  He'd never done that before had he? But she didn't think anything of it, just breathed in his scent and held on to the feeling of safety and love as she pulled another memory from her mind. A rare one of Roan smiling. Yes, he'd become more than a friend to her. She just wasn't sure what he was.

  Not that it mattered any more.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  "I am sorry for the loss of your lover."

  Feet spread, arms crossed, Aro clenched her jaw and tried not to glare at the alpha. She kept her gaze firmly on the mass of Fey before her as they readied to once again head out.

  Stand tall. Push everything else away. Keep the fury firmly locked inside. Think of the cold. Make everything numb.

  "Thank you," she finally managed to say, avoiding his searching gaze. There was no point in correcting him. No one ever believed her when she told them Roan wasn't her lover anyway. Had the Were brought him up to hurt her, or was he being polite? Her lips tightened as she struggled to hold in a frown.

  Things used to be so much easier.

  "You seem to be doing well, compared to last night."

  She glanced over at him, noted how closely he watched her, and raised her chin. "He would have wanted me to be strong."

  "True," Rhee-En replied vaguely.

  Her thoughts churned as they stood in silence for a while. Did he realize he'd admitted to having her watched, or had it been a slip? She knew the young Were reported back to him, as did Terris, but how many other eyes were in the forest she hadn't known of? It was important, more than ever, for her to be in control. Strong.

  Or at least appear to be.

  "I will contact you when I will be in the area and we can meet again."

  "I will keep you updated of anything of importance."

  He frowned. "You are to report directly to the king now."

  Turning to look at him, she raised her brows innocently. "Of course. I assumed you would also like to be kept informed."

  After a moment, his lips quirked into a slight smile. He knew what she was doing. "Yes, I would. Until later then, Aro-En."

  Baelan stepped to her side. So it begins.

  I hate politics.

  Whether you like them or not doesn't matter.

  I know that!

  Just making sure.

  I hate you.

  Of course you do.

  She shot a glare in his direction and huffed at the grin on his face. Rotting Elves.

  He's been watching us, she thought, instead of swatting him.

  Yes.

  You knew?

  You didn't?

  Terris, the young Were, yes.

  He tipped his head toward her, brows furrowed. I forget you have not been brought up in this life. I will make sure to point out such things in the future.

  She didn't quite know what to say to that.

  I may not be your prince, Aro, but I was raised in the same court. The Were are not much different in general. Politics are politics. I understand this world and I will do my best for you.

  Thank you. She wondered if she should be alarmed at how often the Elf surprised her. Her gaze found Kei as he moved among the Fey. I don't want to fail him.

  He laughed out loud, startling her. I don't think you ever could. Silly human. He adores you.

  She shook her head. There are so many more Fey to heal.

  You don't have to heal them all, he said softly. When her head snapped around to look at him, he continued, They just need a Queen.

  Her mouth opened and closed. She hadn't thought much about that. He hasn't said how that will be done.

  I imagine he knows. Hopefully he does. Perhaps a certain number of women are needed to choose from, or one from a certain lineage? Maybe it has to do with their strength.

  She stared at the Elf. How could he seem so unconcerned?

  My point is, if you were to leave now, right this moment, he would find a way to still save his people. A queen would still be chosen. Eventually.

  Shaking her head, she frowned. You don't know that.

  No, he admitted. But he would still let you go. He would find a way. That's how much he cares for you.

  She crossed her arms again. "It doesn't matter," she said out loud. "I'm not leaving him."

  They watched the Fey in silence for a while before he chuckled and shook his head. "Have you never wondered?"

  "About what?"

  "Kei." She gave him a blank stare. "That perhaps he only bound himself to you so you would stay with him. Love him. So all of this," he waved a hand around, "would happen because of that. Because you would then never leave him. Because you want to help him, make him happy. Because–"

  Her fury rose with every word. "If you ever say such a thing again, I will gut you."

  He laughed, ignoring her anger. "You are so very innocent."

  "And you don't make any sense!"

  His head tipped to the side, contemplating. "Hmm. Sometimes, I suppose." His lips quirked into a smile again. "Wipe that anger off your face, my lovely. I never said he didn't care for you now. You are surprisingly likeable."

  Narrowing her eyes, she frowned at him before deciding whatever this conversation was, it wasn't worth continuing. "I'm going to go help with something," she muttered, leaving the crazy Elf and his laughter behind her.

  A bead of sweat trickled down the back of her neck. The day had turned into one of the hottest so far of the summer. With no breeze, even the shade of the trees didn't give much relief. Though many now wore sleeveless shirts, or none at all, Baelan remained covered. Hiding the wrappings around his wrists and neck. Hiding his scars. She told him no one cared, he hadn't listened. She didn't have the energy to argue with him.

  Wiping sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, she trudged forward at a steady walk, back straight, chin up.

  She wasn't sure how many days had passed since she heard Roan died. A week? More? She stopped caring since it didn't matter. Over a hundred Fey followed behind her, their chattering a constant buzz she didn't pay any attention to.

  It was easier, just to ignore the things that didn't matter.

  Not very much did anymore.

  She hadn't cried any more tears over Roan, though she still thought of him, especially at night during the times he would have normally spoken to her. She wasn't new to death, yet struggled in dealing with his. His death left her…lost.

  The others cast her the occasional worried glance, would squeeze her hand or give some other brief sign of comfort. They didn't ask how she
was doing. She probably would have hit them if they had. Perhaps they worried she'd break down into tears or that the constant fury within her would bring forth more irrational anger, snapped words and angry glares. Her solemn silence was certainly easier to deal with.

  Healing the Fey kept her going. Gave her a purpose and a goal.

  Kei hovered the most, even more than Baelan who stayed at a wary distance. She coveted those moments with her Fey after being so long without him. Even if she was a mess and not quite who she once was, even though he did it in worry, he was there. By her side.

  "You need to slow down," he said.

  "No."

  "Aro," he said in exasperation.

  "You can barely keep your eyes open," Baelan added.

  She liked it that way, when she was so exhausted she fell right to sleep at night.

  "You're going to get hurt," Kei added quietly. He bumped her shoulder, seeing if she was paying attention.

  "No." Getting hurt wasn't a worry. They had so many Fey with them, it was no problem for many of them to hold any new Fey they found so she was in no danger. The growing number of Fey they came across…that worried her a little. The amount of fury moving in and out of her body was starting to make her feel ill at times and just…strange at others. None of that mattered anyway. She wasn't stopping, not with an insane Dragos liable to stop by at any time.

  Her gaze flicked upward, and worry pulled at her chest. He'd not been back since the time he locked her in her mind with her nightmares.

  Aro-En, a storm approaches.

  She grimaced at the alphas words. When?

  It should hit you tomorrow evening. He paused. It comes from the mountains, which is rare. Such storms are quite violent, and normally last two to three days. I would suggest you move everyone to the caves.

  We will. Thank you, Rhee-En.

  She frowned. They were nearly to the main group of Fey now and would reach them before noon. They had planned on dropping off those they'd healed, pick up supplies, and then carry on south, while the main group continued east to set up yet another camp to wait for them.

  The young Were had already told her of the cave system they would reach late the next day. Many Fey had been seen there and she'd been told some had made various caves into a permanent home. Since they assumed they would be a few days searching all the caves, at least the storm wouldn't cause too much of a delay.